President-for-Life Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe gives me so much to talk about. It used to be his country’s 100 trillion dollar bill, the result of their million percent inflation rate. Now comes this news: it seems that one of his police guards had to go to the bathroom. When you have to go, you have to go. So he used a bathroom that was reserved for President Mugabe. And so: “A court found that detective sergeant Alois Mabhunu yielded to the call of nature and forced his way past guards to a loo reserved for 87-year-old Mugabe at a recent trade show.

“Mabhunu was arrested the following day and detained at police barracks for three weeks. On Tuesday he was convicted by an internal police court and sentenced to 10 days in prison, Zimbabwe’s VOP radio reported.

“But Mabhunu has appealed to the national police commissioner, Augustine Chihuri, to overturn the verdict, the station added.

“‘He has been convicted and sentenced to 10 days in prison by the police court but has since made an appeal to the police commissioner soon after conviction,’ said a source quoted by VOP.”

You just can’t make this stuff up, folks.